End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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