her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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