So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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