stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
