Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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