Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
