I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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