but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
