just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
