She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
