Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
