I think my vagina is haunted
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's never too late to be topless.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
