No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
