I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
