you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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