Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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