the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize