i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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