he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
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officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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