next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
