This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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