I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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