ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
