we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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