he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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