i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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