I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
