marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
