How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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