i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
where am i from again
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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