So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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