Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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