yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize