I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
