so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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