i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
