Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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