Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
