Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
