i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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