I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
