problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
