I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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