i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Randomize
