no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just cropdusted the office
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
