And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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