moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
