her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize