Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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