I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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