I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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