I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
