Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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