i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
