At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
