The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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